Even the Smallest Gesture Can Make a Big Difference
The loss of a baby or child is deeply painful — and often incredibly isolating. Many grieving parents say one of the hardest parts is when people don’t know what to say, so they say nothing at all — or offer well-meaning advice that unintentionally causes more pain. Phrases like “At least you know you can get pregnant,” “Time heals all wounds,” or “Isn’t it time you moved on?” can feel dismissive and hurtful, even when said with the best intentions.
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Your role isn’t to fix their pain, but to gently walk beside them in it. Whether it’s a simple message, a warm meal, or just your quiet presence — your compassion can be a lifeline during their darkest moments.
How You Can Help
Reach Out
A message saying “I’m thinking of you and your child” can mean more than you know. Avoid clichés and simply speak from the heart.
Offer Specific Help
Instead of “Let me know if you need anything,” offer something concrete: bring a meal, take care of school drop-offs, or help with errands.
Remember Their Child
Speak their child’s name. Acknowledge birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones. It reminds families that their child is remembered, always.
Donate a Memory Box
Would you like to donate a memory box to another family facing this devastating loss. You can do this in memory of your child or one close to you.
“Please don’t make assumptions about a family. Grief is often invisible. Don’t shy away from bereaved parents — we haven’t forgotten our child, and we don’t want you to either. Say their name. Acknowledge that they were, and always will be, part of our family.”
Be Gentle With Your Words
Even well-meaning comments can unintentionally cause hurt. Try to avoid:
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“At least you can have another baby.”
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“Everything happens for a reason.”
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“They’re in a better place now.”
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Comparing their loss to something else
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Pushing them to move on, be strong, or stay positive
Instead, offer presence. Sit with them in silence. Say, “I don’t have the words, but I’m here.”
Understanding Grief: Videos & for Compassionate Support
Supporting with Compassion
Advice for Families & Friends Supporting Someone
Create a Genuine Empathic Connection
Keep Showing Up Over Time
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. Many families say the hardest time is weeks or months later, when the world moves on — but their world has changed forever.
Check in regularly. Invite them to things, even if they say no. Send a card on their child’s birthday. Let them know it’s okay to grieve for as long as they need.